【雅思作文批改】5分：对线图比较陌生 语法较好
知识问答 2022-03-16 18:09:55 admin
【雅思作文批改】5分：对线图比较陌生，语法较好
今天是一篇线图与饼图结合的小作文，题目是 英国冬天与夏天耗电情况 ，这位同学对线图比较陌生，缺少亮点，但基础还不错，最后得5分。这个分数属于大多数中国考生的成绩，所以大家要多看看老师的批改，纠正自己的思路，争取拿高分。
作文题目：
作文内容：
The chart illustrates that how many units of electricity be[A1] demanded normally in England winter and summer.The graph presents four factors of an average English family electricity consumption.[A2]
It is clear to see that people need far more electricity in winter than that in summer totally in England.There is a significant increase in the units of electricity from 35000 in 0am to 40000 in 3am in winter,in contrast to 1800 units of electricity in summer.Furthermore, electricity consumption declines constantly to about 13000 units in summer and the figure reduces the lowest point(3000 units)in winter the next 6 hours.A fluctuation can be found in the data in summer between 9am and 21pm.Meanwhlie,the figure climbs to the peak at 45000 units in winter.Then,a similar decreased rapidly trend appears in the rest of day.
Heating rooms and water is the primary factor of electricity[A3] ,with about half of respondents[A4] rating this highly.17.5% electricity is consumed for Ovens,kettles,washing machines,with lighting,TV(15%) and vacuum cleaners,food mixers contribute[A5] to electricity consumpution equally.
Overall,the amount of electricity demanded in winter is around twice as that in summer.Heating is the prominent element for electricity consumption.
【A1】Be-are
【A2】Four factors of the electricity consumption in a common British household
【A3】Electricity cost, 这里是电力消耗的四个因素，而不是电力
【A4】Respondents这个信息文中并未提及，这句算是你的推测，不建议写
【A5】contributing
各项详细点评：
附批改原图：
今天是一篇线图与饼图结合的小作文，题目是 英国冬天与夏天耗电情况 ，这位同学对线图比较陌生，缺少亮点，但基础还不错，最后得5分。这个分数属于大多数中国考生的成绩，所以大家要多看看老师的批改，纠正自己的思路，争取拿高分。
作文题目：
作文内容：
The chart illustrates that how many units of electricity be[A1] demanded normally in England winter and summer.The graph presents four factors of an average English family electricity consumption.[A2]
It is clear to see that people need far more electricity in winter than that in summer totally in England.There is a significant increase in the units of electricity from 35000 in 0am to 40000 in 3am in winter,in contrast to 1800 units of electricity in summer.Furthermore, electricity consumption declines constantly to about 13000 units in summer and the figure reduces the lowest point(3000 units)in winter the next 6 hours.A fluctuation can be found in the data in summer between 9am and 21pm.Meanwhlie,the figure climbs to the peak at 45000 units in winter.Then,a similar decreased rapidly trend appears in the rest of day.
Heating rooms and water is the primary factor of electricity[A3] ,with about half of respondents[A4] rating this highly.17.5% electricity is consumed for Ovens,kettles,washing machines,with lighting,TV(15%) and vacuum cleaners,food mixers contribute[A5] to electricity consumpution equally.
Overall,the amount of electricity demanded in winter is around twice as that in summer.Heating is the prominent element for electricity consumption.
【A1】Be-are
【A2】Four factors of the electricity consumption in a common British household
【A3】Electricity cost, 这里是电力消耗的四个因素，而不是电力
【A4】Respondents这个信息文中并未提及，这句算是你的推测，不建议写
【A5】contributing
各项详细点评：
附批改原图：
标签：
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