【雅思作文批改】6分：注意语言表达即可
知识问答 2022-03-16 12:12:35 admin
【雅思作文批改】6分：注意语言表达即可
今天是图表分析题，这位同学主要是语言表达上不够好，最终得6分，看看老师是怎样细评的吧。
作文题目：
作文内容:
The line graphs present the change of the size of Antarctic Ozone layer hole and of the production of three different kinds of relevant damaged gases between 1980 and 2000.
It is clear in the first graph that the size of Ozone layer hole in Antarctic remained a[b1] upward trend, except for a dro between 1992 to 1994. At the first two years from 1980[b2] , the size did not change at about 40 million square KM.[b3] From 1982 to 1992, the figure climbed to 200 million, after which fell to 150 million in 1994. Then, the size experienced a dramatic increase, rising to 250 million square KM in 2000.
In the second graph, there were three types of gases damaging the Antarctic Ozone: H2, H2O2 and H2.11. The production of H2O2 was noticeable higher than the other two gases over the first 10 years, rising from 150 thousand to 200 thousand in 1985 and dropping back to 150 thousand in 1990. Over the same period, the production of H2.11 remained roughly unchanged at 100 thousand, while there was no H2 production. From 1990 to 2000, the production of H2 and H2.11 saw a[b4] same upward trend, reaching 80 thousand and 160 thousand respectively, while the amount of H2O2 production decreased dramatically to zero.
[b1]a [b1]n 注意冠词a / an 的区分
[b2]表达不太准确,参考：from 1980 [b2] to 1982
[b3]语言表达问题，参考：
the Ozone layer hole was in a constant size of about 40 million square KM
[b4]the 注意冠词的正确使用
各项细评：
针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：
整体来看，对图表的信息把握没有太大的问题，主要和关键信息都能概述的比较清楚，对明显的对比关系也把握的很清楚，要注意的是在语言表达上，尤其是第二段中的几个句子，在表示上存在问题。
热点推荐
今天是图表分析题，这位同学主要是语言表达上不够好，最终得6分，看看老师是怎样细评的吧。
作文题目：
作文内容:
The line graphs present the change of the size of Antarctic Ozone layer hole and of the production of three different kinds of relevant damaged gases between 1980 and 2000.
It is clear in the first graph that the size of Ozone layer hole in Antarctic remained a[b1] upward trend, except for a dro between 1992 to 1994. At the first two years from 1980[b2] , the size did not change at about 40 million square KM.[b3] From 1982 to 1992, the figure climbed to 200 million, after which fell to 150 million in 1994. Then, the size experienced a dramatic increase, rising to 250 million square KM in 2000.
In the second graph, there were three types of gases damaging the Antarctic Ozone: H2, H2O2 and H2.11. The production of H2O2 was noticeable higher than the other two gases over the first 10 years, rising from 150 thousand to 200 thousand in 1985 and dropping back to 150 thousand in 1990. Over the same period, the production of H2.11 remained roughly unchanged at 100 thousand, while there was no H2 production. From 1990 to 2000, the production of H2 and H2.11 saw a[b4] same upward trend, reaching 80 thousand and 160 thousand respectively, while the amount of H2O2 production decreased dramatically to zero.
[b1]a [b1]n 注意冠词a / an 的区分
[b2]表达不太准确,参考：from 1980 [b2] to 1982
[b3]语言表达问题，参考：
the Ozone layer hole was in a constant size of about 40 million square KM
[b4]the 注意冠词的正确使用
各项细评：
针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：
整体来看，对图表的信息把握没有太大的问题，主要和关键信息都能概述的比较清楚，对明显的对比关系也把握的很清楚，要注意的是在语言表达上，尤其是第二段中的几个句子，在表示上存在问题。
热点推荐
标签：
相关文章
发表评论
评论列表