【雅思作文批改】6分：可在立意新颖上寻求突破
知识问答 2022-03-20 16:12:03 admin
【雅思作文批改】6分：可在立意新颖上寻求突破
抱团学习啦！今天给大家看看这位同学的文章，题目是 科技对人际关系的影响 ，整体思路比较清晰，但语法和拼写上有些小错误，如果想拿高分，可在立意上下功夫。（ps：作文批改还有免费名额哦，想让老师批改的同学可以把作文发来，但不要随便写哦，因为老师都是很用心批改的，体量下老师的苦心哈。）
作文题目：
作文内容：
Years have witnessed the booming of technology in this information era, which has dramatically influenced the way people interact with each other. For example, the types of relationship [b1] has [b2] been altered, and therefore, making certain effects.
As has been stated before, there are various types of relationships and they have been affected greatly by technology. To be more concrete, first ofall, Stranger Relationship has penetrated into people s lives especially youngsters[b3] . People have developed growing interest in making relationships with strangers through apps [b4] like MOMO / TANTAN/ The Same and so on all over the world. What s more, virtual relationships have been more and more popular across the world. By this I mean that, people tend to seek social network from virtual figures these days. Software as Siri from Apple, Xiaobing from Microsoft or even relationships developed in computer games are all representatives of recent relationship types.
This phenomenon of new types of relationships is making certain effects. As for the positive sides, people s communicati46on[b5] cost has been diminished. Whatever types of relationships are, it is surely more convenient to make relationships through the Internet than face-to-face[b6] . Besides, there is an expansion of social circle with the development of technology. Not only can we make relationships with friends but also strangers or even virtual figures.
However, there are also negative effects. First of all, we know less about each other actually. What s worse, we may be cheated due to unamilarity[b7] , especially when we are making relationships with strangers.
In a word, technology has brought about news [b8] types of relationship like Stranger Relationship and Virtual Relationship , which makes both positive and negative effects. From my perspective, it is more a positive development. Just as the saying goes, what exists is reasonable , we can t deter the trend of technology but adjust to it and make it positive development.
[b1]relationship [b1]可数，这里需要使用复数形式
[b2]Have,这里动词的形式要和前面的 [b2]types保持一致
[b3]of youngsters [b3] 或youngsters [b3] 注意这里说的是 渗透到年轻人的生活 ，而不是年轻人
[b4]Apps [b4]
[b5]communication [b5]
[b6]by face-to-face [b6]注意介词的使用
[b7]unfamiliarity [b7] 注意词汇的拼写
[b8]news [b8] 新闻 ，new 新的
end
抱团学习啦！今天给大家看看这位同学的文章，题目是 科技对人际关系的影响 ，整体思路比较清晰，但语法和拼写上有些小错误，如果想拿高分，可在立意上下功夫。（ps：作文批改还有免费名额哦，想让老师批改的同学可以把作文发来，但不要随便写哦，因为老师都是很用心批改的，体量下老师的苦心哈。）
作文题目：
作文内容：
Years have witnessed the booming of technology in this information era, which has dramatically influenced the way people interact with each other. For example, the types of relationship [b1] has [b2] been altered, and therefore, making certain effects.
As has been stated before, there are various types of relationships and they have been affected greatly by technology. To be more concrete, first ofall, Stranger Relationship has penetrated into people s lives especially youngsters[b3] . People have developed growing interest in making relationships with strangers through apps [b4] like MOMO / TANTAN/ The Same and so on all over the world. What s more, virtual relationships have been more and more popular across the world. By this I mean that, people tend to seek social network from virtual figures these days. Software as Siri from Apple, Xiaobing from Microsoft or even relationships developed in computer games are all representatives of recent relationship types.
This phenomenon of new types of relationships is making certain effects. As for the positive sides, people s communicati46on[b5] cost has been diminished. Whatever types of relationships are, it is surely more convenient to make relationships through the Internet than face-to-face[b6] . Besides, there is an expansion of social circle with the development of technology. Not only can we make relationships with friends but also strangers or even virtual figures.
However, there are also negative effects. First of all, we know less about each other actually. What s worse, we may be cheated due to unamilarity[b7] , especially when we are making relationships with strangers.
In a word, technology has brought about news [b8] types of relationship like Stranger Relationship and Virtual Relationship , which makes both positive and negative effects. From my perspective, it is more a positive development. Just as the saying goes, what exists is reasonable , we can t deter the trend of technology but adjust to it and make it positive development.
[b1]relationship [b1]可数，这里需要使用复数形式
[b2]Have,这里动词的形式要和前面的 [b2]types保持一致
[b3]of youngsters [b3] 或youngsters [b3] 注意这里说的是 渗透到年轻人的生活 ，而不是年轻人
[b4]Apps [b4]
[b5]communication [b5]
[b6]by face-to-face [b6]注意介词的使用
[b7]unfamiliarity [b7] 注意词汇的拼写
[b8]news [b8] 新闻 ，new 新的
end
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